Why Am I Like This?

by Anonymous

I have asked myself this question too many times to count. At times I have found an answer and at other times I am lost in the silence of my own voice.   Why have I not been able to overcome my speech impediment and speak fluently? Why do I have these limitations? Why do I stutter? Why am I like this?

In order to answer this question, I had to ask myself a different question which is, “who would I be if I never stuttered?” If I were to grow up without stuttering, I would have never developed the ability to listen to people and hear what they have to say no matter how long it took them. Instead of hating who I’ve become, I needed to see a meaning in my disability. Then I began to understand how my weaknesses were teaching me to care for other people.

The past few years I have been able to work in the Vocational Education Program at the Hope Technology School with teens that are nonverbal and communicate using assistive technology, having the speech impediment that I have helps me understand about 1% of what they go through. Working with these teens has really inspired me to see things differently. Instead of just speaking up for myself now, I feel the need to speak up for those who can’t speak for themselves and sincerely try to feel what they feel. That is why I am like this.

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